- "I am Only-One Cannotbe, a Jebi Knight in service of the..."
- ―Only-One Cannotbe, cut off by Shawn Duet[src]
Only-One Cannotbe was an Expendable Jebi apprenticed to Guy-Gone Weird during the waning days of the Galactic Democracy. Despite his position as an Expendable Jebi, he was actually skilled and intelligent. During a search for missing congressman Lon Jennon on Daftooine, Only-One and his master discovered the Spiff Order. There he faced Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist in a duel and held his own until saved by Guy-Gone. He later faced Dharth Bob on Taboo with the aid of his master and then alone, defeating the Spiff apprentice in a duel. Upon discovering that Jebi Master Count Dubious was also Spiff leader Dharth Bolshevik, he returned to Croissant to reveal the truth. He passed the Jebi trials and eventually worked his way up to Jebi Master and took the place of Count Dubious on the Jebi Council along with Maigus. He was granted the rank of Jebi General in Spacefleet and given command of a ship - the D.S.X. Machina.
Years after the events on Taboo, he was made aware of a bounty on several people involved, including his old master, and he set out to track Guy-Gone. Guy-Gone led him to Geneosmosis where his fleet arrived just in time to prevent Dharth Bob's Spiff fleet from destroying the Rusty Eagle and attacking Croissant. He supported his master's decision to leave the Jebi Order, and pulled some strings to get Typhon promoted to active captain duty in Spacefleet for his role in recent events.
Biography
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
A young Only-One at the Jebi Temple.
Early Life
Expendable Jebi
Only-One was chosen to be a Jebi, and Count Dubious made the decision to have him apprenticed to Guy-Gone Weird, hoping to keep him from attaining any status that could threaten his position.
Apprenticeship
Under Guy-Gone's tutelage, Only-One was introduced to some very radical and seemingly pointless teaching methods Guy-Gone had developed. One of his methods included a random switching of master/apprentice roles to test Only-One's ability to think on his feet and lead a group. However, Only-One soon came to understand the purpose of his master's teachings and became a skilled and intelligent Jebi.
The Spiff Revealed
Search for Lon Jennon
One day, congressman Lon Jennon of Taboo went missing, seemingly kidnapped. Supreme Pitza Decorum consulted with the Jebi Council and decided that the matter was relatively unimportant and would require only Expendable Jebi Knights. Guy-Gone hired the not-so-famous Captain Typhon to ferry the two in their search. One day, while cooking macaroni, Guy-Gone had a revelation that Jennon was being held on the park planet Daftooine, and promptly had Typhon set a course. Upon arrival, Guy-Gone was contacted by Jebi Master Coda, who gave the two permission to use any actions or means to rescue the congressman safely. Not understanding what he said, Guy-Gone ended the transmission. Only-One expressed his hesitation about the blind search, but before he could protest further, Guy-Gone took the controls of the ship, and accidentally crashed the ship on the planet's surface.
Only-One during the search for Lon Jennon.
13th Annual Company Sparring Picnic
The crash did not go unnoticed. The Spiff lord Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist saw the crash, but dismissed it as a part of the festivities. Guy-Gone and Only-One pulled themselves from the wreckage and made their way in a random direction. Only-One once again protested, asking Guy-Gone if he really knew what he was doing. Little did the two know they had unknowingly stumbled into the location of the ancient Spiff Order's 13th Annual Company Sparring Picnic. Sensed by Dharth Bolshevik, the two Jebi fled at incredible speed, and when engaging Spiff Guards, were separated. Only-One wandered into a small encampment of Spiff Guards, and deflected their blasts back at them, leaping high into the air to avoid them.
Duel with Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist
Having finished the last of the guards, Only-One wandered into a natural tree formation. There he heard the sound of a laserfoil igniting, and he turned to be faced with Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist. Tyrannical-Fascist taunted Only-One into a fight, claiming that he wouldn't allow the two to leave the planet alive. The two engaged in a duel where Tyrannical-Fascist tested the Jebi's skills, continuing to taunt. Seeing a break in the fight, Only-One pulled Tyrannical-Fascist's sword from him and attempted to use both against him, but Tyrannical-Fascist was far to quick. Retrieving his sword, Tyrannical-Fascist Spiff-Gripped Only-One, choking him, and buying time to draw Only-One out of the trees and into the open.
Escape from Daftooine
Their duel continued outside of the trees, but was suddenly interrupted by a sourceless gust of hot air and door opening out of...nothing. From the doorway, Guy-Gone appeared and he violently pushed the Spiff directly in the face, knocking him to the ground, allowing the two Jebi to escape in the cloaked Eon Vulture, piloted by smuggler Shawn Duet and his co-pilot Mobacca. Dharth Bolshevik feared for the possibility that the Spiff would be revealed to the Jebi order before they were ready, and dispatched a squadron of fighters to pursue. With its weapons diabled in an earlier encounter, the Eon Vulture was no match for the fighters. Just when all hope seemed lost, a small fleet of smugglers and pirates emerged from hyperbola space to aid the Eon Vulture. The group was led by Sprint Render, a friend of Shawn Duet, and fellow rogue. The fleet was able to destroy all but two fighters, though suffering casualties of their own. Confronted about owing Sprint money, however, Duet fled. Unknown to them all, Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist followed in his Spiff Interloper.
Change of Direction
Apocalyptic Battle
Guy-Gone's Death
Spiff Defeated
Return to Croissant
Knighthood
Spacefleet General
Council Member
The Rhast Incident
Contacted by Guy-Gone
To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler!
Tracking Guy-Gone
To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler and Dark Equilibrium!
The Battle of Geneosmosis
To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!
Guy-Gone's Trial
To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!
Warning from Future Guy-Gone
To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!
Personality & Traits
Powers & Abilities
Swordfighting
Jebi Powers
Laserfoils
Only-One Cannotbe's first laserfoil
Only-One Cannotbe's second laserfoil
Outfits
Jebi Outfit (I)
Only-One wore standard issue Jebi robes and tunic. He wore a simple belt and a large brown robe.
Originally, Sean's costume was similar to Matt's, being made of bedsheets and pillowcases. Unsatisfied with the quality, he remade his costume with better materials and created a robe from scratch, which is still used to this day. He originally sported a black glove and a flimsier robe, later given to Dharth Bolshevik/Count Dubious.
Jebi Outfit (II)
To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!
Unused "War" Outfit
To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!
Cannotbe's Ships
D.S.X. Machina
- Main article: D.S.X. Machina
Alternate Timeline
- Main article: Alternate Timeline
Behind the Scenes
Only-One Cannotbe was played by Sean Stewart. He is a parody of Obi-Wan Kenobi, particularly in the Star Wars prequels. In the earlier footage from Spoof Wars, Only-One had slightly shorter hair, and the Jebi braid was traded between himself and Guy-Gone. He also wore a black glove and wore the robe that would later be given to Dharth Bolshevik. In Tales of the Jebi, he has grown his hair out and wears two costumes: the distinctive Jebi robes and tunic, and a "General" costume. This costume was inspired by the outfits worn in Clone Wars and The Clone Wars, sans the armor. This costume was drawn up a day before filming and put together mostly using unused costume parts.