Rig'ur Mortuus was an Expendable Jebi Knight who lived on Croissant. While many of his fellow Jebi lived at one of the Jebi Temples, Mortuus preferred a cozy home atop a skyscraper. During his years as a Knight, he found life as a homeowner to be...dangerous. He was eventually reassigned to live at the Temple of the Expendable Jebi on Floam and was promoted to Jebi Master. He played a small, but crucial part in the events surrounding Rhast and the Rusty Eagle. With the rise of the Dictator, he led a team to arrest him and was later instrumental in the Battle of Nom Crustacia, where he flew as "Knight Four."


Early Life

Not much is known about Rig'ur Mortuus' early life. He was raised and trained as a Jebi. Upon reaching knighthood, then-Jebi-Master Count Dubious decided that Mortuus should be categorized with other Jebi such as Guy-Gone Weird and Only-One Cannotbe as an Expendable Jebi Knight. Dubious encouraged Mortuus to live off-temple, in an attempt to keep the Expendable Jebi from interfering with his plans.

Crossing Paths

While on vacation on one of the moons of Blogden, he nearly crossed paths with Guy-Gone and Only-One. 2 years later, he was sprayed in the face to death by a malfunctioning espresso machine on Croissant while Dharth Bolshevik and Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist conspired. Wandering into the nearest ship, he was unknowingly taken with the Spiff to Taboo, where he was accidentally disintegrated by Typhon in the crossfire of a shootout with the Spiff.

Shake Hands with Danger

During his time as a homeowner on Croissant, Rig'ur found himself in constant danger from any number of things, and on many occasions, he died a horrible death. Despite those setbacks, Rig'ur remained at his home, even after Count Dubious was exposed as a Dark Lord of the Spiff. During his time at his house, he found time to relax, read, explore hobbies, ponder deep philosophical concepts, and construct his laserfoil. He was also given the opportunity to speak at lectures, host a pubic service announcement on Dryer Safety, and visit a deserted Walt Disney World.

It was during these years as a homeowner that Rig'ur began to be stalked by a mysterious Postal Officer. At first, he believed the postman was just being dangerously careless with his deliveries, but soon he discovered that the postman was becoming more aggressive and showing up at times and places far outside of delivery hours. He also discovered that his refrigerator was the sometime home of a Jabbyrian Wokky Monster, which killed him on several occasions. His antics drew the attention of many, including Croissant Police Lieutenant Gordoff, and the spirit of ancient Jebi Olmec Qel-Drona.

It was also during this time that Rig'ur became addicted to ground pepper, often causing hallucinations and night terrors - though he swore it was an unrelated haunting by the Postal Officer. Sometimes he locked himself in his basement, burning the pepper and creating clouds in his bathroom. He also quit Spoof Wars and was briefly played by Ryan Murphy before returning as if nothing happened.One evening, his home came under attack by a band of pirates, but he bravely defended his home, launching cannonballs at them...though he could have hallucinated that as well.

Rig'ur also crossed paths with Sprint Render, who was looking for directions to the spaceway. A year later, his home was invaded by smuggler Shawn Duet (whom he'd unknowingly already crossed paths with on Taboo). Duet took up residence in his home for almost a year, drawing the attention of bounty hunter Disco Fett, who was looking for Duet. With Rig'ur's help, Duet eluded Fett and continued to live there for a few months, until he discovered that Rig'ur did not like mayo. In a rage, Duet stormed off, leaving Rig'ur alone once again.

Reassigned to Floam

Eventually, as Only-One Cannotbe was promoted to Jebi Master and given a seat on the Jebi High Council, he gave Mortuus several assignments, reassigning him to the Temple of the Expendable Jebi on Floam. There, Rig'ur met Sunrunner, a fellow Expendable Jebi.

More to be revealed in The Rigors of Mortuus Season 4!

The One Nugget

While meditating one snowy evening, Rig'ur received a vision. Among the scattered images were the events that had recently unfolded on Cypress III - Rhast attacking Guy-Gone, Sprint and Typhon; the destruction of the One Nugget; the essence of Dharth Deceivious bonding to Rhast - and visions of the ancient dark lord, and a shadowy individual in black that had yet to be born. Sensing the rise of a great evil, Rig'ur traveled to Croissant to speak with Only-One in person.

There, Only-One confirmed his fears - the One Nugget had been found and destroyed. Fearing what would happen if the Spiff could harness this power, Only-One decided to pursue a hunch. Rig'ur was sent to gather all data available on Captain Typhon, where Only-One discovered that Typhon had been tested for Jebi potential. His results were redacted and he was denied admittance into the Order under the advisement of Count Dubious. Only-One then sent Rig'ur to the Great Jebi Library on Opossus, where he studied ancient documents until he discovered a prophecy and the intertwined past of three items - the Laserglaive, the One Nugget, and the Symbiocolate.

However, before Rig'ur could inform anyone, he became totally distracted by a wanted ad for new employees at a pizza parlor. Needing extra cash, Rig'ur applied and got the job.

More to be revealed in Dark Equilibrium!

Rise of the Dictator

To be revealed in Spoof Wars Episode XLVII: The Plot Strikes Back!



Rig'ur's laserfoil.

Rig'ur's laserfoil

Rig'ur designed, crafted and built his laserfoil from scratch. Starting with a basic green laserfoil crystal, Rig'ur cut it down to the proper size, despite a few deadly setbacks. With some work, he attuned the crystal to a yellow color. He then crafted his hilt, which had an unusual retro-future design. In the Jebi Temple, he completed his laserfoil and turned it on for the first time, promptly stabbing himself in the face. While it malfunctioned the first time, he later perfected it, and it served as his unique weapon of choice during the events to come. It was nearly lost in a duel with the Dictator, but was recovered by Mortuus as he plummeted thousands of stories to Croissant's lower levels.

Alternate Timeline

In an alternate timeline, Rig'ur Mortuus became a secret contact for Only-One Cannotbe. He secretly gathered refugee Jebi from the Dictator's purge and led them to the temple on Floam. He eventually met with Only-One on Sasnak, informing him of this, and aided the Galactic Resistance through the Battle of Croissant. This timeline was corrected by Guy-Gone Prime, when he traveled back to warn his younger self, and subsequently prevent Typhon from killing Exor Kruun.

Behind the Scenes

Rig'ur Mortuus is played by Eric Kaldenbach. He is based on a character from the original sequel concepts known then as "The Constant Death Jebi". He was named this because his character would continue to appear throughout the movie after his death, die again, come back, etc. In Spoof Wars Episode CVIII: The Hidden Reprisal, his name was going to be Byran Skalaar. In early drafts of The Plot Strikes Back, he was named Sxott Mortus. Eric created the lightsaber and costume himself, and his entire role in The Plot Strikes Back was filmed in a single session - roughly 3-4 hours. He wears the same belt as Guy-Gone, possibly the belt for all Expendable Jebi. On his belt he also wears a silver Digivice from Digimon Season 4. He was later filmed for The Rigors of Mortuus, which is chronologically earlier, and was released first.

So far, he has appeared in every live action installment, except Typhon.


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